Not Yet
by Firefly264
Summary: He was just trying to hand his report in and get back to the library, but when Ed walks in on the breakdown of a man he had long thought indestructible. May be triggering, possible OOC, etc. etc. ONESHOT


**Happy belated FMA day! In other news, How I Met Your Mother is perfect and so is Neil Patrick Harris.**

**Warnings: Attempted suicide, teeny tiny OOC-ness  
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That wet Wednesday morning saw Edward Elric stomping into the office noisily, and slamming the door behind him as he stalked in. He was drenched and freezing, red jacket turned dark and heavy by the rain.

"I'm back-"he started, before noticing that the normally busy office was empty. Normally Havoc and Breda would be planning something stupid (their last prank had gone horribly wrong; poor Fuery still couldn't stand near the water fountain without almost passing out), while Falman tried valiantly to finish his paperwork, at least (somehow, though, he always ended up getting dragged down with the rest all the same). Even Hawkeye, the ever-vigilant Lieutenant, wasn't sitting at her desk, where she would normally be doing her paperwork relatively calmly, though one hand always strayed uncomfortably close to her gun when the men got too out of hand.

_Maybe they're all out to lunch?_ Ed thought as he made his way to the Colonel's presumably empty office, intending to wait until the team returned before ranting- reporting the outcome of his latest mission. Except, the office wasn't empty.

Mustang stood by the window silently, not even looking up when Ed entered. Something about his whole demeanor sent the hair on the back of Ed's neck prickling up. Something isn't right.

Then the silence was broken by a *click*, and time seemed to stop.

If he had been asked about what happened later, Edward wouldn't have been able to answer. Everything happened in a blurred rush.  
A shout- "Stop!"

The Colonel turning fast, stricken expression etched across his face as he held the pistol with trembling hands to his jaw. Then he was on the floor, arms pinned as Edward sat on top of him, trying to wrest the gun away. Then a burst of pain in his cheek, and Ed was the one sprawled on the ground, but he didn't release the gun.

Scrambling up and pressing his free hand to his cheek (he felt blood; damn, he probably broke a tooth or something), Edward ducked away, but Mustang made no other move, just sitting there on his hands and knees with a pained, shocked expression on his face.

"Fullmetal…"

"What the hell are you doing?" Ed yelled. No way, no way, this did not just happen, oh God, it happened. He stood there on the balls of his feet, perched to launch if Mustang tried anything dumb, but at the same time he was frozen. "You- you were-"his voice broke off and went silent. If he hadn't come in when he did…

"You weren't supposed to come in today." Mustang spoke quietly, a far cry from his normal cocky bastard self. "It was supposed to be empty." This was wrong, this was so, _so_ wrong.

"Empty? You mean you sent everyone away so you could do this?" unfreezing, Ed set the pistol that he still held on the ground and stomped over, grabbing the older man by his collar and yanking his head up, shaking him. This scene was familiar, almost painfully so, but now the roles were reversed. "You shut yourself away so you could kill yourself in private? You bastard!" he looked away; he couldn't even look at the man now. How had someone so strong sunk so low?

"Why not?" Ed looked up sharply. "Why shouldn't I just shoot myself now, before anyone else gets hurt? I'd be doing everyone else a favor." He sounded resigned as he spoke, as if accepting the fact that he deserved to die. No. No.

"You think this is a favor? You think no one would miss you?" Edward said. "You really think that no one cares?" he lowered himself down, falling to his knees before his commanding officer. Roy Mustang, who just tried to shoot himself in the neck.

"I killed them, Edward." Mustang said, dark eyes burning holes into the floor. "I killed all of those people in Ishval. I killed Maes Hughes. Tell me why people always seem to get hurt because of me, if I'm such a 'good person'."

"Because they believe in you! Because they believe that you can lead this country someday, make it better. Why do you think I've stuck around this long?" how could this idiot not see it? Even Ed, oblivious as he was most of the time, saw how Hawkeye would look at her superior when she thought no one could see. And Havoc and Breda; who were they supposed to follow, who would be willing to put up with their antics? Falman and Fuery had never seen real combat, and Mustang was the only commander at Eastern HQ who would fight to keep it that way.

These were the words that Ed pounded into Mustang's idiotic skull, tone sharp and automail fist clenched as if to strike the man. Desperately, with raised voice and loud insults, he tried to pull back his superior from whatever dark hell he had delegated himself to, because he was scared, scared that he was about to lose someone else, that he failed to save another person who he had managed to get close to, even if it was reluctant and mostly accidental.

He grew silent eventually, words run dry. The two alchemists just sat there, crouched on the ground with a pistol lying forgotten behind them.

"Thank you," Mustang said finally. Ed looked up questioningly as the man stood finally. "I… I probably would have pulled the trigger, if you hadn't come in." he offered the boy a hand up, which he accepted gratefully; his automail didn't really take kindly to sitting crouched and unmoving for so long, and he winced slightly as a shock ran up one of the nerves.

"Yeah, whatever," he said gruffly, looking away. "Just don't pull anything so stupid again." He turned to leave, but paused in the door, turning to look back as Mustang picked up the gun gingerly, turning on the safety and setting it on the table between the two couches. He was still too pale, his eyes too wide and his uniform skewed and slightly rumpled from Edward's death grip as he fought to pull the man back to the realms of the living.

_He almost lost him._

Ed turned back once, stepping quickly across the room and wrapping his arms around his surprised superior's chest. His heart was still beating.

"Just don't die, you bastard." Flushing bright red, Ed turned and left the office for real, leaving behind a bemused Roy Mustang and a little piece of his dignity.

Looking at his hands, Roy chuckled.

"I'm not planning on it." He answered with a small, real smile. No, he couldn't die yet. He had goals to achieve, and people to protect.

Hawkeye was the first to come back. Entering Roy's office, she saw him working diligently at his paperwork, which was surprising enough in itself.

"Sir," she said, calling his attention to her. "Has Edward come in to report yet?"

"Yeah. Rose a bit of hell, too." A small smirk crossed his face. Nodding, Hawkeye stepped back out and was just settling herself at her desk as the rest of the team began to enter. Havoc and Breda were debating something about who would win in a fight, Fullmetal or Flame.

"I'm telling you, Fullmetal could top the Colonel any day!"

"Are you forgetting their last fight? Mustang destroyed the Chief, and half the parade grounds."

Falman, of course, was spouting off details about both alchemists; their skills and specialties, any extra abilities, and fight experience, with Fuery meekly saying that he'd rather not have to go through another Fullmetal vs. Flame fight.

So all in all, a normal day at the office.

Colonel Roy Mustang, calm and collected, sat working at his desk- or so it seemed. His pen had stopped long ago, and he watched his team through the open door, smirking as the Second Lieutenant and Sergeant's debate grew crazier and crazier, and the Master Sergeant and Warrant Officer tried to talk them out of starting another alchemist battle. He saw Riza watching as well, the mask of disapproval slipping just a bit as the comments grew wilder, even going so far as Edward using Alphonse's body as alchemically-controlled armour for himself, both brother's fighting skills combining.

No, he couldn't die just yet.

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**My excuse is that Ed is still shaken up about Hughes so he's more vulnerable to the thought of losing someone so he hugs Mustang okay yeah that works. (I just really like fluff and I am not ashamed)**

**Note: I absolutely appreciate every review I get, but I tend to not reply if they're for a oneshot. But know that I read every single one and take it to heart, so why not drop a bit of feedback while you're here?**


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